someone help i just ate an entire watermelon and i just cut open a second one
update: i’m out of watermelon
make watermelon clothes
A man in the grocery store line today approached me and said, “Sir, when I first saw you I was extremely attracted to you, but then I noticed that you are a boy. How… I mean, why do you dress so provocatively?”
I responded, “Well, in today’s world the majority of the straight male race view women as objects, or something that belongs to them. I dress provocatively because it attracts the attention of men in a sexual and OBJECTIVE way. However, when realized that I am actually male, they often become confused, disgusted, upset or all of the above. By inflicting this minor emotional damaged upon the ego of a man raised by twisted societal gender norms, maybe, just maybe the individual will think twice before viewing another woman with an objective attitude and sense of belonging. No woman, belongs to ANYONE. Male or female, the equality of human beings needs to be a priority. It is something worth dressing up for.”
I AM NOT KIDDING. The woman behind me, the female cashier, the old lady bagging groceries and the woman in front of me who was talking on the phone STOPPED, …. and proceeded to gasp and clap. The man shook my hand, told me to have a blessed day and then said, “excuse me ladies, I need to visit my daughter.”
…. I was shaking by the time I walked out of the store.
- Elliott Alexzander
Maybe he won’t find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.
Jean & Scott, Episode 7 by Max Wittert
(Twitter: TallBlondNRich / Instagram: FionaSnapple)
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I remember when people first realized how much funnier these comics were just without Garfield’s dialog, which Jon was never able to hear anyway. Garfield only ever communicated to us readers in thought balloons, after all. What we’re seeing here is Jon’s canonical reality.
so basically Jon is most cat owners ahahAHAHA
JON MY BBY
Volunteering at a soup kitchen is one of the least productive things you can do to change the world. Art can inspire people and motivate them. Food is important, yes, but you aren’t changing that person’s life.
whoever wrote this post has definitely never been hungry
I remember one christmas we were short on money so my brother just drew us some pictures of mashed potato it was poppin!!! We ate the pencils too!!!